I’ve been thinking about integrity. Especially about how I handle those times when I haven’t accomplish what I said I would. I think of these as integrity breakdowns.

Right now I’m managing a project team, and we haven’t fulfilled several of our commitments. We’ve had a lot of slippage. I’ve been feeling anxious and frustrated because the slippage has continued, despite my best efforts.

So on Monday I decided to address the issue in a new way. In our weekly kick-off meeting, I invited us all to acknowledge any commitments not fulfilled, without blaming ourselves. The idea was simply to take responsibility.

I went first. I acknowledged that I had not met my commitment to handle all the paperwork. Consequently, one member of the team had spent most of the previous Friday cleaning up the mess I’d left. I acknowledged my responsibility for the breakdown, and thanked the person who had covered for me. Two others then volunteered that they had not met all their commitments either. The air felt clearer already.

It was my turn again. I acknowledged a huge integrity breakdown on my part. I said that I had made the arrogant assumption that I knew each person’s abilities and limits, and these assumptions had shaped my behavior in ways that hurt our performance. I had assumed that our most seasoned team member was on top of everything; consequently I hadn’t looked to see what support he needed, and had left him in the lurch. With two of our youngest team members, I had unconsciously put limits on what I would even ask of them, and they felt my lack of trust.

As a leader of project teams, one of my intentions is to bring out the prowess of each person. Our conversation about integrity caused me to see that I was out of integrity with this intention. Surprisingly, it felt good to take ownership of this breakdown, and re-commit myself to creating an environment where each team member could contribute richly.

For me, owning a breakdown clears the air more effectively than apologizing for a failure. Apologies tend to come from a sense of guilt or a fear of consequences. Acknowledgement comes from a commitment to be present to what’s happening, and to take responsibility for your effect on others.

We performed at a new level last week. As I look back on a week of fulfilled commitments, I’m inspired to ask myself “Where else am I out of integrity with a promise I’ve made?” I’m looking for breakdowns. And I’m finding a few. To my surprise they aren’t showing up as failures. I don’t feel bad about them. I’m experiencing each integrity breakdown as an opportunity for a breakthrough to a whole new level of accomplishment.